Well, here I am finally being a crowd follower. I have never been an official "blogger" until now, so here goes...
I probably won't be able to do this very often given my job, but with the holiday season upon us, I am afforded more of an opportunity to reflect and share my thoughts.
This evening, I read one of my favorite Christmas books, The Crippled Lamb, with my two youngest children, Anna and Aidan. The story describes how a small, crippled lamb feels useless and dejected because of his inablities. However, on the night of the Savior's birth, the crippled lamb just happened to be in the stable where the baby is born. When the baby cried out, the lamb cuddled up to the tiny King to keep him warm until Joseph arrived with small cloths for the baby. His best friend in the world, a cow, emphasized to the small lamb that had he not been crippled, he would never have been able to fulfill his purpose and he would have missed out on the most incredible night ever.
After my children and I finished reading the story together, they started playing with my hands and my rings. They both tried on my rings for size and, of course, pretended that they were married. I told the children that I remembered when I was about Anna's age (11 yrs.)or maybe even younger, I would sit in church snuggled up next to my mama and would adore her hands. I remember how I also used to take off her rings and try them on my small hands. I would adore her dark, olive skin and the wrinkles that she earned from all the hard work she put into raising her four children. I remember how her veins protruded from her delicate hands, yet there was beauty in her carefully painted nails. I remember thinking back then, "Oh, how I wish I had mama's hands!"
Then, my daughter paid me the biggest compliment I could ever be given. She looked carefully at my hands and said, "Mommy, you're hands are just like Nana's!" I looked down at the protruding veins, cracked cuticles and olive skin, and, for the first time, I saw what my daughter saw. I had mama's hands!!
Now, I don't know if I have some great spiritual revelation to tie in from the story we read tonight or how my mother's hands played even a small part in the way the Spirit touched me, but here is what I received tonight...
Though I am not physically disabled as the tiny lamb, there are many days that I feel purposeless and wonder what I am able to add to the Kingdom. Many days I let other people down and feel alone and sometimes ineffective in my abilities. However, one thing I did realize as I snuggled with my children tonight. I never want to forget my mother's hands and how they have helped shape me into being who I am. Hers are the Godly hands that always remind me of the hands that shaped me before I was born and gave me a purpose. In addition, I don't ever want to forget my daughter's words tonight because through her, I was able to see that what I am doing right now is carrying out my special purpose: I am pouring the love of Jesus into my children and there could be no greater blessing! What a great Christmas present!!
